Another new start.

 It is October... how is it October?!  I am sat in my bed typing this and feeling good that I am finally picking up my blog again.  The last few months have been a little bit manic to say the least. 

We have now entered our third year of our adventure in the land of sand.  Posey is in year one and Lochlann is in FS2 (reception).  My husband and I had settled well into teaching out here and spent last year leading our year groups; responsible for the curriculum and progress of eight classes each.  Fast forward to now and we are in another new apartment, in a different area of Abu Dhabi and have changed schools too! Like I said the last few months have been somewhat challenging!

Although it had many ups and downs we did enjoy our time at our last school and we learned a lot but we felt it was time for a new challenge and hoped that this new school would be the school we stick at.  We have moved homes 5 times in the past 4 years - I would like to stay put for a while now (I have a serious distaste for packing).  I want our children to continue to grow their friendships and have a chance to feel settled.

We now live on Al Reem island which is much closer to the city than we previously were. A delayed apartment meant we spent a few weeks living in a hotel in the city which was far from ideal but these things tend to happen as an expat teacher (everyone seems to have a similar story).  Although I am not in love with the new apartment, we finally have a home again, we have three bedrooms now and we do have amazing views over the water.  It is taking time for us to get used to being in a new part of Abu Dhabi however now the weather is finally cooling down we are getting the chance to explore a little more.  Al Reem has a great communal park with a skate park which my husband and our two littles were very excited about when we decided to move.  We brought two skateboards back home from the UK with us so the children are eager to get out on those.


Changing schools has brought with it lots of positives but I am not going to sit here and say it was easy. I really dislike being the 'new girl' and have struggled to relinquish control.  My confidence was definitely hit as year group leader last year but in many ways I did really enjoy it and I believed in what we were trying to achieve.  It was always going to be a challenge to come to a new school and learn their approaches.
Posey and Lochlann however continue to astound me.  Yes we had tears and talks about missing their old school but overall they have coped amazingly well with the change. They are making friends, they talk to us about their day and their teachers are pleased with their progress.  For a while I was worried that we had made the wrong decision and that they needed the security of staying put in one school but our littles are tough and they've proven me wrong! :) I am honestly so proud of them both.

We are now coming to the end of October half term but it has been amazing to slow down and not think about school for a while.  To just be mama and daddy.  I won't say I am excited to return to work (who ever is?!) but I am feeling more ready to tackle this new half term.  I am not new anymore, I know my little class and I know my own children are thriving.

Look at how grown up they are now ... Holly and the not so littles should perhaps be the new name for my blog! :) 

If you're still here, thank you for reading my waffly post... I am definitely a little out of practice but it is good to be back!

A little life update...

It's the end of May, how is it already the end of May?! ... I know it is a cliché thing to say but the past two years have literally flown.  We are coming up to two years of living in the Middle East and our lives have changed so much.

When we decided to move out here we made a pact that love it or loathe it, we would stick our two year contract out and then see where we were at and how we were feeling.  Now we are reaching that first set of goal posts and I am actually very proud of us.  We left our friends and family in search of a better life for our children and that is what we achieved.  I mean don't get me wrong the #expatlife is far from perfect but when I sit back and look at our daily lives now I am pretty impressed.

Here is a little round up of what makes me most proud;

1. We can afford to pay for our children's music, ballet and rugby lessons all on our own

2. We have been able to ignite a passion for travel in our children.  Before we moved here the most exciting trip Posey and Lochlann experienced was a ferry trip to Ireland for a family getaway with my lovely in-laws (which was lovely by the way) but in the past two years we've lived in Abu Dhabi, visited Copenhagen and Bali as well as traveling back to the UK! - Posey and Lochlann now have places like China and Italy on their bucket lists!

3.  Our children have friends from around the world.  They are getting to learn about and experience many different cultures.

4.  Not only has our marriage survived, I honestly believe it has now begun to thrive - it took time to settle and to get used to being with each other basically all the time but honestly now I think we are stronger and happier than ever!

5. We have started to take care of ourselves a little better - eating better, having a healthier mindset (me) and working out together at the gym.


When reading those things back they all seem pretty normal, mundane things, things that I am sure many people take for granted in their daily lives.  But they're not small things to me.  When our children were very small our family helped us to provide for our children and give them all they need and whilst there is nothing wrong with that - we wanted to be able to do these things for ourselves.
I hated the guilt of knowing I couldn't always afford things for our children - only holidaying in Wales because we were fortunate enough to use our family's caravan.  The children only wearing the nicest of the cheap clothes because that was all we could afford or them having things bought by our family - I was so grateful but I yearned to do things our way - to take them to places we wanted to visit and for them to wear or play with things that we had chosen for them.
I am struggling to put this across in a way that doesn't sound like I am totally only interested in the materialistic side of life but I just mean that I wanted to feel like we could do things for our little family all by ourselves.  I guess I wanted to show what we could achieve even though we got together quickly, got serious even quicker and became parents within 18 months of being official.
I wanted to show that Sam and I were strong together, that we were meant to be despite it all seeming so rushed.

I mean between 2011-2015 we got together, fell pregnant, bought a house together (with help from our parents), welcomed our daughter into the world, fell pregnant for a second time, got married, welcomed our son & then moved house AGAIN!

Fast forward to New Years 2017 and you found Sam and I in our beautiful detached four bedroom home, the home we stretched ourselves for in the hopes it would become our forever home.  Sadly we fairly quickly got bogged down in nursery fees and mortgages repayments.  We have some really wonderful family memories from our time in our house but I vividly remember sitting down together in the New Year just after Posey's and Lochlann's birthdays and deciding that something needed to change. We knew our home wasn't what we wanted for our forever home. We were sick of working our butts off for little pay off and money always seeming tight.  Something needed to change.  We wanted to made our children's lives fulfilled with two happy parents, family adventures and a little spare cash to make life easier and that is what moving to Abu Dhabi has given us.

We arrived with two toddlers, one still in nappies and 8 rather large suitcases.  Two years later we've had two successful years in our current school, our children have both started school and really love it.  Now we are getting our little family ready for our a new adventure in a new school.


                               Us not long after we arrived...

                                Our first trip to Dubai

                                Posey is 3 here and little L is only two

                              On a desert safari for Sam's birthday

How long we will be here?  - In honesty I don't know.  Sam and I stick to our decisions and see them through. Our new contract is for another two years therefore we will be here for at least that.  It gives us two more years to save money and will see us move to another part of Abu Dhabi with new places to explore.

I do worry about the children not experiencing their childhood in England surrounded by our family but the opportunities we can give them here mean that they can spend summers getting in that quality time and the rest of the year living where our weekends involve guitars lessons, the beach and trips to the pool.  We definitely couldn't say that when we lived in Warrington!

                                                            Us now...

I am aware this post has been a ramble fest and possibly doesn't even make much sense but as these first two years draw to close I wanted to get my thoughts down.  There are honestly still moments daily where I still cannot believe that this is where we call home.

I am so glad we started this adventure, I love my little family so much.
💛

If you've reached the even of this long winded post then thank you. 🙏

Dear Lochlann... you are four.

 // 2.1.2019

Hey there little boy guess what, you turned four today.  Our little blonde, curly-haired Peter Pan is growing up! You were so excited this morning and told us that your favourite present was your electric toothbrush despite the bicycle and a dozen hot wheels cars also waiting for you.  You were allowed any breakfast of your choice but simply went for coco-pops but you were even too excited to eat those!

You have grown up so much in the past year Lolo.  You have left nursery joined big school, given up bedtime nappies and even given up your dummy.  When I think about how far you've come this year I realize you really aren't my little baby boy anymore.  We were so worried (well I was your dad knew you'd smash it) about you joining FS1 in September and yes there are sometimes tears in a morning but you have done so well.  You have your own little group of friends and you happily tell us all about your days.

You absolutely love every type of vehicle there is you are all about fire engines, police cars, helicopters, trains... you name it, you love it! Christmas and your birthday have been a dream come true for you as you are now the proud owner of a whole fleet of play mobile vehicles.  You are still such a home bird and love nothing better than staying in at home and playing quietly with your toys.

The vehicle theme continues when you are asked what you would like to be when you are older. Your answer usually ranges from pilot to fireman to astronaut to train driver.  Whatever you choose to do I know you will love it and I have no doubt that you will be great at it.

... slow down boy of mine and stay little just a while longer.

Love you to the moon & back again little Lolo.

Love,

Mama

xx

Dear Posey... you are five.

Well little girl I cannot honestly believe it but you are five years old, five already!  I am not sure how we have got here so quickly and yet it seems as though I can barely remember a time where it was just your daddy and I.

You are growing into such a wonderful person P, you are bright, you are sassy and you are ever so caring.  Right now your favourite things to do are draw and write.  You are so determined to read and write which is just fantastic.  You can be quite hard on yourself, it seems we may have a little perfectionist on our hands.  I hope to try my best to teach to you to be kind to yourself, these things will come, there's time yet my darling.  We were so amazed by your confidence when we went ice-skating in Copenhagen, you went straight for it round and round the rink on your own like the super star that you are!

You recently learned how to swim without your life jacket and your face beams with pride each time you manage to swim a width or two of the pool.  You have your daddy and Sally to thank for this.  I love watching you in the pool, I think it is most probably your favourite thing about living in Abu Dhabi!

You miss your family in England and I know you find that hard, you've had such a wonderful Christmas with them all and it was lovely to watch you bond with everyone.  You spent time doing everybody's make-up on Christmas Day and Boxing Day which was so funny and so cute too.  Great Nanna looked fantastic! :)

In this letter to you I also wanted to say sorry.  I am sorry for being a shouty mum and I am sorry for not always taking the time to play with you.  You mean the absolute world to me and I feel like I stumble my way through my firsts as a mother with you.  You are my first, you are the little one that made me a mother - I am learning a long with you and I hope that you can forgive me for any mistakes I make and I hope you know how proud I am of you.

I love you so much sweet Posey Margaret Ivy, Happy fifth birthday.

Love you to the moon & back, always.

Mama
xx

A simple start to 2019...

Perfect place to enjoy a walk in 2019

Hi there and HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I won't sit and ramble about how quickly Christmas came and went but I will say that the whole, 'new year, new me' pressure is in the air and it isn't how I want to start my 2019.  Before I had my daughter I always hated New Year and the pressure to make this year, 'the best year yet!'  Then I had Posey on New Years Eve which made the whole day far more enjoyable.

I still feel the pressure though and even last night as I sat on the sofa waiting to ring in the new year (I lasted until 10:30 and went to bed... how rock and roll) I felt anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

I woke up this morning feeling determined to not let the New Year hype engulf me but instead make conscious choices to make the day to day more simple and calming.  I am a mum of two and a full time teacher; I need calm in my life!

With that in mind, I thought I would share with you how I plan to make my start to 2019 calm & simple.

candles //
 we all love a festive candle but I am a year round candle lover.  I think it is the whole hyyge thing. I am going to make a conscious effort when I arrive home or even when I get up in the mornings to light a candle and just take a moment to myself before I carry on with whatever it is I have to do.  That way I'll have a moment to myself to breathe and the apartment will smell glorious, win win!

music //
I don't know about you but the TV on the background has become a bit of a bad habit in the Brookes household.  Most of the time we aren't even watching it, Sam and I will be in the kitchen and the children are usually busy playing!  I much, much prefer listening to music.  So I intend to play much more music in our home in 2019.  Sam and I are really enjoying the new Mumford and Sons album, they are one of our favourite bands and always make me feel calmer and more relaxed.

health //
If you didn't know I turned 30 in December and I am still not quite sure if I am bothered or not.  Can't decide.  However what I am more aware of it my health and that of my family's.  We usually eat fairly well but with the Christmas break and alot of traveling nutrition has gone on the back burner and I am really feeling it.  I am not going to sit here and say I am going to make my whole family vegetarian like me or that I am going to do veganuary but I am going to continue to make small changes that we had already started in 2018.

Sam and the littles are really good with their intake of water, me on the other hand, not so much.  I have one of those hydrate m8 style bottles which does help encourage me so I am going to keep working on that.

I am also going to make the conscious choice to buy Weetabix as breakfast for the whole family.  We all like Weetabix, it is obviously good for your body, I like the fact they don't use any plastic in their packaging and to top it off they are vegan.  So if you eat them with soy or nut milk, hey presto a vegan meal every day! - good for you, good the world.  🌎

a good clean //
Once the tree is down and you've organized the festive clutter I always feel like our home needs a good clean.  I am no Mrs Hinch by any stretch of the imagination but using Method cleaning products always helps to motivate the cleaner in me.  My favourites are the clementine and the French lavender.

walking //
Again not a unfulfilled promise to over haul my exercise regime it is me noting that walking really helps me feel calm.  We live in such a beautiful part of Abu Dhabi, we have the beach right on our doorstep and water surrounding us.  I find the water really soothing and a walk is a great way to silence the noise in your head!



Here's to a new year, same me but making choices to be calmer and more content.

Thanks for stopping by,

A letter from an absent blogger

Guess who's back, back again... 

I have no right to call myself a blogger, not even a part time blogger.  Truth be told I haven't written since August and I have really missed it.  It is probably quite clear what excuse I am going to give... life has just been really busy. 

If you have read my blog before or follow me over on instagram (mamabrookes) then you will know we currently live the Middle East.  My husband and I both work in the same school and we have been away from the UK for just over a year now.  The meant our summer was spent driving up and down the M6, visiting family and friends in England.  This didn't leave much time for blogging.  

Then our return to Abu Dhabi saw our youngest join us at school in FS1 as well as Sam and I both being promoted into middle leadership.  Basically what I am trying to say is that life has been hectic! I am constantly tired #mumlife #teacherlife 

Because I have taken on this role at school I feel guilty for thinking about spending time writing for myself when I could probably be doing school work.  There is always something else you could be getting on with in teaching, your job is just never done.  That coupled with my new role and with the endless list of jobs a mother has meant that my blog has fallen to the bottom of the priorities pile.  

I almost forgot about my little space on the internet.  I pushed it to the back of my mind and believed that because I haven't written there was no point in starting again.  Then I remembered the point of this blog.  It is for me and it is for my children.  I am a sentimental, overly emotional fool who loves to collect memories.  It really doesn't matter why I stopped writing what matters is that I want to start again. 

I want to keep sharing our families little adventure, I want to continue rambling about motherhood and married life.  I may not be the most stylish woman in the world but I like to write about the outfits to throw on and I love to shout about small brands that I like to dress my children in.  I would also like to write more about our expat family life and add a little more lifestyle posts here and there. 

This isn't my job, this is my little hobby, my little escape from my day job.

What I am trying to say is that I am back.  And I can't wait to get stuck in, if you'll still have me? 

Hello, again. x 

My Two #7

My first, 'my two' post of 2018.  I am still striving to be more consistent with my blog but, as I am sure anyone who reads my blog understands, the pressures of a full time job and being a mama to two small children.

We entered this new year with a 4 year old Posey and a 3 year old Lochlann.  It is so strange to me that we are leaving the baby and toddler years behind with these two.  I feel like I have been a mother to babies for such a long time with them being so close together.  They were so excited for their birthdays.  However Posey now walks around telling me how she is nearly five.  Why do children do this? Ha.  I remember doing it as a child.  If only we had the ability to savour our childhood when we are children.

Anyway, I digress...

#1
Our biggest love, Posey Margaret Ivy.  Our sassy, bright and inquisitive little four year old.  She continues to love school and life in the sunshine but misses some of her family terribly.  Here in Abu Dhabi we are unable to use things like FaceTime and Skype meaning that talking to loved ones, back in the UK, is pretty impossible.  Unfortunately it affects our little P the most.  She's a brave one though.  If you ask her at the moment, her favourite friends in school are Eduardo and Isabella and she loves reading and writing her name.  She has definitely got into crafting and art of late.  She has a great imagination and is often drawing and creating pictures to give to family at home when we visit in the summer. One humorous yet tiring thing to note about P at the moment is that she often wakes in the night to tell me she is hungry and that she must have a snack.  I am thinking it is down to a growth spurt and that it won't last long!  She is very much into babies right now.  She is desperate for a little brother or sister, in fact she has put in a request for one of each (I am massively broody so I won't deny that I am pleased she would like more siblings).

One final thing to note about little miss P right now is how excited she gets when she goes to watch her daddy play rugby.  She beams with pride and gets all giddy.  It really is the sweetest thing.

#2
Without a doubt the biggest thing to note about our littlest love, Lochlann Armstrong Samuel is that he is FINALLY toilet trained.  Can I get a hallelujah?!
We are so, so proud of him.  He has just turned three and in all honesty I was beginning to panic about this but we are there, he's done it.  In fairness he has actually done really well which goes to show you really just need to chill and they will do it in their own time, when they are ready.
I am not sure whether it is that he has turned three or what but I have noticed recently that he has become a little more stroppy and defiant at times.  The time out spot has remained pretty warm of late.  The term, 'threenager' has definitely sprung to mind once or twice.  Nothing we can't handle though.  His is such a funny little character, he often has Sam and I in stitches with his facial expressions and outlook on the world.  He is such a wind up merchant too, always winding his sister up!

He is continuing to do well at nursery and plays with the other children more and more.  This week we have had a little mid-term break but L has still been in nursery.  Instead of taking him in for seven on the dot we have had slowish mornings and dropped him off between eight and nine.  This has meant I have been able to see him happily skip off and play with a few lovely little children that are so happy to see him.  My mind has been put at ease now.  Yes this is a little boy that is happy in his own company which is great but now I am confident he has some little friends too! What more can a mama ask for eh?!


And there we have it, a little update and the two smallest and most special people in my life.


Quick question - we would love more littles but can't decide on the number of them.  If we wait another year or two for baby no.3 do you think stop there as I'll be 31/32 or go for baby no.4 too?!  I would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you are a mama to 3 or 4.

Thanks for reading,

A typical Weekend for our little Expat Family.

It is time to go back to work but this weekend has been a pretty good one so I thought I would document it.  Being considered an 'expat' is a strange concept.  It is almost like you're on holiday but you have to do all the normal stuff like work, pay the bills and pack the school bags.  What I will say about being an expat is that the weekends have the potential to be pretty great.  Like a mini holiday and this weekend was just that!

Friday. 

As we have my lovely sister in law staying with us this week we decided to go to Dubai.  Our first stop was Riverlands Dubai.  This is one of the attractions at Dubai Parks and Resorts which also has Legoland, Motion Gate and Bollywood Park.  We hadn't been there before so thought it would be a good one to tick off.  We did toy with visiting Lego land whilst we were there but decided that our littles are still a little too small to get the most out of it.  Riverlands has a really pretty French village and lots of great places to eat.  We had a little wander, visited the park and then settled on having lunch at The Irish Village.  They served soda bread which made me happy and Guiness which made Sam very happy indeed.  Once we had eaten we headed off to The Dubai Mall to show Kate the Burj Khalifa.  As usual the mall was massively busy which can be a struggle with two small children but it was good to show Kate one of the main tourist attractions in the UAE.  We stuck around and waited for the foutains show, which is really great.  Posey and Lochlann love it.  Posey words literally were, 'oh wow!'

It was a long day but a lovely one.  Potentially the most memorable part of the day though was the fact that we drove home on a empty tank of petrol.  It was honestly so stressful.  We expected to be able to fill up on route home but the petrol station was bloomin' closed.  Over here they are few and far between.  Luckily though we managed to fill up with only 2km to go!! - I just read that back and it is so boring but Sam and I will remember the anxiety for years to come so I HAD to include it! HA.

Saturday. 

Saturday morning came with a lie in... sort of.  Posey woke up early but got in our bed and went back to sleep.  Hallelujah! We all managed to sleep past 9am which is literally unheard of in the Brookes house.  After a slow start we finally managed to get out and headed Yas beach to soak up the winter sun.  It does annoy me a little that you have to pay more to go to the beach at the weekend but it is really lovely.  We paddled in the sea and in the pool.  Kate and I even enjoyed a cheeky little cocktail.  Posey and Lochlann really enjoyed playing the sand and building sandcastles.  It was a really good way to end the holidays.

I am still tired, but then again, I have been since I fell pregnant with Posey... I feel fairly refreshed and ready to take on a new term at school.  I am determined to feel more positive and I think spending more time at the pool and the beach at the weekends will really help this positivity! :)

Hope you had a really lovely weekend with those close to you.

Thanks for reading,

Disclaimer*  There were a few tears and tantrums along the way from the two small people don't get me wrong but hey sometimes it is just good to remember the nice bits! 

Looking forward to 2018.

So after being inspired by Jessica Avey's most recent video over on youtube, 'start your goals today' I thought I would write a post quickly looking back over what we achieved as a family in 2017 and what we intend to work towards in 2018.  I am hoping that actually writing it down on here might make me stick to what I say (here's hoping).

Our 2017.

During the in-between festive days of last Christmas Sam and I sat down and basically decided that something needed to change.  Not in a dramatic sense just that although we both enjoy our teaching careers and are happy as a family of four we just felt really frustrated with the monotony of daily life.  We felt that we were working very hard, spending minimal time with our littles and yet not really reaping the rewards.  By this, we mainly meant financially.  We had bought a lovely house but along with the lovely house came a hefty mortgage and along with the two beautiful children came hefty childcare fees.  All this meant two full time jobs but not a lot of money left over for enjoying life as a family.  We thought about maybe leaving teaching, we both have lots of other ideas and passions that we would love to pursue.  We decided actually that we wanted a little of an adventure for us a family and we weren't ready to give up on our teaching careers just yet.  And that is the point where we started to research teaching internationally.  We spent a lot of time thinking about where in the world we should go and decided on Abu Dhabi.

This one decision obviously changed our lives and kind of turned it upside down.  It took a lot of planning, organisation, money and tears to get us to the land of sand.  Honestly, I cannot believe we are here.  Life here has it's ups and downs but generally it is a really great experience.  It has definitely allowed us to spend more quality time together and it has showed Sam and I that we have the capability to change our lives massively, follow our dreams and survive it! Ha.

So, now it comes to thinking about what we want to achieve in 2018.  I feel like we have big shoes to fill, if that makes sense.  How can we top the changes we made in 2017?


Goals and dreams for 2018 and beyond... 

Goals for me:

1. Continue with my blog -  Writing is something that I love.  It has always been a passion of mine and I spent many years keeping a daily diary.  I wanted to have a blog for so long but it took a lot of confidence for me to actually do it.  Now I am doing it, I want to keep it up.  My mind is literally buzzing with ideas for the content and I am determined to keep it up this year.  Even if it's just for me.

2. Be less of a 'shouty mum' - Mum guilt is such a monster that plagues literally every mama I know.  When I get stressed or anxious I often find that I become much more shouty with my children.  Then I immediately feel guilty about it.  I have been reading lots about mindfulness and I am hoping to try and use that to help me tackle my stress and emotion so that I don't take it out on my children as often.

3.  Self- improvement-  I know that this is something that so many people have as a goal in January but this is entirely necessary for me.  I often need my husband or a friend to help me feel better about myself.  In 2018 I intend to exercise more and go to bed earlier as a starting point for this.  I also hope to learn more about photography and try my hand at calligraphy too!


Goals for us:

1. Our YouTube channel -  We have finally took the plunge and started a YouTube channel.  Our daughter Posey is most definitely the reason behind this decision.  She absolutely loves watching back clips that we have captured of our family.  I am a massive YouTube fan and so is my husband so we thought lets stop think wouldn't it be great if... and actually start it.

2. Savings - We have some big plans for life when we finally return to the UK so we plan on saving hard.  We still want to enjoy life out here in the desert but we have long term goals too (including, hopefully baby no.3).

3. Travel - We want to to take the children to visit some of the other emirates whilst we live in Abu Dhabi.  We also want to take the children on our first family holiday abroad.  As silly as it sounds now that we live in the UAE we haven't been further than Ireland before this.

4.  Healthy living - Meaning healthier food and a sport/ hobby that we do separately that we enjoy.  Sam really enjoys sports so is determined to get back into that more this year.  I am hoping to ignite my enthusiasm for exercise this year.  I really enjoyed yoga when my lovely friend Sally took me along to her class so I am looking for a class out here that I can go to.

Goals for our children: 

1.  For them both to be able to swim - Posey has a weekly swimming lesson at school but we would like her and Lochlann to take private swimming lessons.  We have a pool literally a 2 minute walk away from our house that an instructor can come too so we are going to sort that out for January.

2.  Music- Sam is musical and was offered the opportunity to pick an instrument and have music lessons from a young age.  We both want the same for our children as I don't play any instruments and I wish I did.

That's it.  I would love to know what you goals are for you and your family.
Wish us luck with ours.

Thanks for stopping by and Happy New Year.

Holly x

P.S If you would like to follow our daily Expat adventures then please come and visit our YouTube channel.

A letter to my first born.

Dear Posey,

Tomorrow you turn 4.  Four years old.  I knew it's a typical mother thing to say and so cliche but I can't believe how quickly those four years have whizzed by.  At the same time though I struggle to imagine what life was like before you were here.  Before you I was just a teacher, I felt like something was missing, like I needed purpose.  Then you came along.  You made me a mama and I cannot believe your baby and toddlers years are over.  Our lives have altered in so many ways since you came along. 

You have filled our days with so much happiness since you entered our world and have always been bright as a button.  Everyone who meets you comments on how bright and outgoing you are.  You are doing brilliantly at school, you take it all in your stride (you're even a little cheeky at times) despite all the up-heaval of moving half way across the world.  I was worried when we moved out here, as I know you love your family so fiercely.  I was scared you would hate us for taking you away from them.  Yet somehow although you miss them so much I can see you almost understand why we have brought you here.  You tell me about how we get to swim a lot and go out for dinner together, which you love.  You and your brother always ask for us to eat as a family - which is just the loveliest thing.  I hope you want this for many years to come. 

My how you've grown, you are little miss independent.  You have your own little group of friends at school and you just love to boss your little brother around.  You are actually very protective when it comes to your brother (only you are allowed to wind him up it seems).  It is the little moments between you two that I love, the way you look out for him or show him how to do something... it just melts my heart.  I worried for you when we fell pregnant with your brother.  After all we had only had you in our arms for a such a short while.  I need not of worried, though you were still so little when Lochlann arrived it was as if you were always meant to be a big sister.

You sleep really well and have finally decided that now you would like to have a glass of milk before bed instead of your beloved bottle.  I often wondered how we would ever get you to give up your bottle.  I should have trusted that you would do it when you were ready, just like everything else you do.  I need to remember not to rush you sometimes.  I often worry that because you are my eldest, I am harder on you, when in actual fact you are still only small.  I hope that when you grow up you'll know that your daddy and I only ever want the best for you. 

Speaking of your daddy, you and him have such a bond.  I love to sit and watch you play.  You are for the most part a daddy's girl but recently you and I have developed a little friendship that I will treasure.  You are like my mini best friend. The other day, you and I went on a little coffee date (you had a babychino) we sat together, chatted and shared a chocolate cake.  Then we played in the rain and you enjoyed splashing in the puddles.  It was such a lovely afternoon.  It meant the world to me. I hope that over the years we will spend many more of these little dates together, just like I did with your Nanna when I was growing up.

So there you go, I guess I should stop waffling now.  The only thing left to say is how incredibly proud your Daddy and I are of you.  You have such a lovely character and although we are sad that you are growing older we are also so excited to see the person you become. You are going to be one amazing young lady, in that I have no doubt.

Love you very much, our first born, our big love.

Happy fourth Birthday Posey Margaret Ivy.

Mummy xx

Lets kickstart 2018!

I am not actually sure I can get my little pea-sized head around the fact that 2017 is ALREADY drawing to a close and yet here we are!  I must be getting old as the years are most definitely going faster.

I have blooming loved Christmas this year.  In the interest of being honest, there have been a fair few tears along the way.  I wasn't sure we could enjoy Christmas without our family nearby.  But it turns out although it was different, it was magical.  The littles have hit a great age for all the excitement.  Seeing their faces light up on Christmas morning made me melt.  My heart swelled and I know Sam felt the same.  Everything Posey opened was her, 'most favourite thing ever' and Lochann grinned from ear to ear when he finally unwrapped his Playmobil fire engine.

We are now smack bang in the middle of the 'Christmas slump.'  You know that in-between bit after Christmas Day but before New Year.  Where you struggle to get out your PJ's and you fall in one of two categories, either you are chucking your decorations into storage on the 27th or your clinging on to the festive spirt for dear life.  I am without a doubt in second team but I am looking forwards, thinking about how I can kickstart 2018.

Having said that, this isn't some lengthy post about my dreams and goals for the year.  It is more just a few things I plan to do to kickstart the year and make life a little easier.

1. Get more sleep. - this is an obvious one I know but since we moved out to the UAE my body clock seems to have been pretty messed up.  We have to get up for work earlier here as we start at 7:30am.  Yet still we are up (often doing work) until late. Often past 11pm and that my friends is just not enough rest.  I plan to be in bed from 9pm in January. 
2. Put my phone down more often - another simple one but how many of us are guilty of spending too much time on Twitter or Instagram?  I love Instagram, it is almost like a mini blog for me but I know it sometimes stops me from being in the moment with my family. The littles are growing so fast and I am sure soon enough I won't be that interesting to them anymore.  I need to soak them up as much as possible. 
3. Make achievable lists- As a mama and a teacher I will ALWAYS have a huge amount of things to do on any given day.  This fact often feels a little suffocating.  A fellow mama and blogger Rebecca Meldrum suggests writing small lists each day to help us focus on what you want to achieve.  I intend on taking this advice.  Small and manageable is the way to go. 
4. Get outside- Spend at least 5 minutes getting some headspace in the great outdoors everyday if you can.  As I live in the desert now I intend to do this as much as I can before the temperatures sky rocket again.  When I lived in England any green space, a field, a wood or even the back garden will immediately make me feel calmer and more in charge of my emotions. 
5. Make the bed in the morning- Whenever I make the bed in the morning I immediately feel like I am organised and basically the boss of my day! ... Honestly it makes a huge difference. 

Spending time with these two and their dad outside is one of my favourite things to do. 

That is it for now.  These are the few things that I am going to do in the new year to beat those pesky January blues and make sure our 2018 starts off positively. 

What will you do?  I'd love you to leave a comment below and let me know! 

Thanks for stopping by. 

Lots of love, 

Holly xx

The ramblings of an expat... at Christmas.

I have an idea... It may be a rubbish idea but I thought I would begin a series of posts with my thoughts and views on life away from home.  The expat life as it's lovingly referred to.  I hope that this series will give a good insight into life for a family that lives abroad.  I intend for each post to be fairly short and sweet so that I can keep up with them.  I love writing and find it especially therapeutic when there is something on my mind.  So here goes...

Generally, life is pretty good considering we have only lived out here for 4 months.  The weather has cooled recently which means it is acceptable to pull out my trusty jeans and converse yet we are still able to go swimming every single day if we so wish! I mean how cool is that for a family used to windy and wet winters in England?! We set this move as a goal for us to achieve last New Year! Sometimes I still can't actually believe we did it.

Although I am so proud of us for moving out here every now and again homesickness bitch slaps me hard. Yesterday proved to be difficult, (I do think it was partly down to yet another bad cold).  The run up to Christmas has still been lovely because I am with my three favourite people.  Posey and Lochlann are really beginning to understand what Christmas is all about and their excitement is infectious. But yesterday I just wanted to go home.  I wanted to watch the littles playing with members of their family.  I wanted to be dashing around the supermarkets hunting for the last bag of brussel sprouts.   I missed wishing every person you meet in the shops a merry Christmas.  It is easy to read my blog posts or look at my Instagram captions and assume that life is sweet twenty- four seven  but truth be told I shed more than a tear yesterday.

Today I have woke up feeling far better (I think my bad cold had a lot to answer for yesterday).  I still miss home don't get me wrong but I woke up to two little people jumping with excitement as tomorrow is Christmas eve.  Whilst I sit and type this, they are devouring the snowman cakes we baked together and we are getting ready to visit a Christmas market.

Will Christmas be the same? No of course it won't but Sam and I are determined to make it one to remember!

If you are with your family this year, enjoy it, savour the moments (even the little rows) and make sure to tell them you love them.  And with that, Merry Christmas to our family, we love and miss you all.  Here's to summer 2018 when we are all reunited and we can ditch the kids with you! 😉

Thanks for stopping by & a Merry Christmas.
Lots of love,

Holly.x

Our Christmas traditions, old and new.

With Christmas only 3 days away, I thought it would be nice to share our Christmas family traditions.  As we have two small children these traditions are still fairly new and we add to them year on year.  This rings especially true this year as we are spending our first Christmas away from England.  Our first expat Christmas.

I have always been one of those people that keeps the festive spirit alive all year through. I am a December baby so perhaps that is partly to blame.  I unashamedly count down to Christmas and can often be found watching a Christmas film in July! I used to get so excited when I heard the first Christmas song on in the shops or when my mum brought the Argos catalogue home.  I would sit for hours trawling through it and writing a ridiculously long wish list for Santa.   I have to say though as I got older Christmas did lose a little bit of it's sparkle for a while.  I think that had a lot to do with working in retail whilst I was at university.  Putting up sale signs everywhere on Christmas eve will knock the Christmas spirit out of anyone!

The thing that truly rekindled my love affair with the festive period was becoming a teacher.  Working in a school means you are totally immersed in Christmas for at least the whole of December (and November if your class are involved in the Christmas production).  It is just so lovely to see the excitement on the children's faces as you make Christmas cards and calendars.  You also usually have a carol concert and a school Christmas party which is super cute too! Although, it is near impossible to get your class to concentrate at this time of year; I see the run up to Christmas as a true perk to being a teacher.  I have really missed all the school festivities this year. Teaching internationally means you teach children from lots of different backgrounds and cultures so often Christmas is just not acknowledged in school.  Sam and I have found this hard, with the hot weather and things running as usual at school, we usually forgot it was nearly Christmas until we got home and saw the tree!

Obviously being a mama means that Christmas is one of the most exciting things ever! I get so excited daydreaming about Christmas morning and seeing the delight in their faces. I sometimes feel like I don't get the time I would like to make the festive period as magical as possible for my children.  This year, especially as we are away from  home, I am trying really hard to make it as magical as possible. With all the usual things like our elf coming to stay and doing lots of festive crafts and baking.  We have even played in fake snow which is something I hope to never forget!

As a result of wanting to make it as magical as possible Sam and I started our own traditions on Posey's first Christmas and we have continued to add to them each year.  Here they are...

• Advent calendars-  one for each of us (including mama and daddy) We also have an advent calendar between the littles with sweet treats in or little activities that we are going to do.  The little boxes we used this year are super cute and were from Ikea. 
• Christmas books - we have our usual traditional one, 'Twas the night before Christmas' which we read every Christmas eve.  But another popular one that we love to read especially at Christmas is Stickman.  Our new one this year (which the children will open in their Christmas Eve Box) is Santa comes to Abu Dhabi. 
• Christmas Eve Boxes - The children have personalised Christmas Eve Boxes which their lovely Mamar made for them.  We fill these with the usual things like Christmas craft activities, snowman marshmellows for a hot chocolate etc...  This year though there will only be one box between them as their personalised ones are in England, stored away. 
• Christmas PJ's - Each year all four of us get a new set of festive PJ's. At first we used to give these on Christmas eve as that is what I did when I was a child.  This year though, the elf brought the children their PJ's on December 1st.  We thought that would be better as the children will get more wear of them and it kicks off the festive period in a lovely way! 
• Writing Christmas cards- ordinarily I would be sending Christmas cards to all our friends and family but this year we have just used Funky Pigeon to send a couple of special ones to the UK. 
• Fulfilling a tree's Christmas Wish - Sam and I once saved a real Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.  We popped to Ikea for something (I think it was just a veggie meatballs pregnancy craving if I am honest).  We were sat eating and we heard an announcement saying there were some trees in the foyer that people could take otherwise they would be thrown away.  As we left the store there was one tree remaining.  We took it home and honestly it was such a beautiful tree.  We bought some decorations in a sale at a nearby garden centre and decorated it on Christmas Eve afternoon.  It was just so lovely and so festive.  We have decided to go and check in Ikea over here if there are any trees left on Christmas Eve and if there are we will buy it and fulfill it's Christmas wish. :)  This is a tradition I hope to continue each year when we move back to the UK too. 
• Christmas films- Every December I cram in as many Christmas films as I possibly can.  It is far too difficult to name my absolute favourite.  But Posey and Lochlann definitely seem to favour Elf and Sam's firm favourite is Home Alone 2.  As a child, the favourites I remember are A Muppet's Christmas Carol and Miracle on 34th Street. 

Some other firm traditions in for our family include;

Decorating the tree; a family affair. 

Putting up our decorations on the first weekend of December. - As soon as December hits I am eager to get those lights up and trim that tree.  At first we did it as a surprise for the children when they were little.  Sam and I would decorate it and then we could carry them down the next morning and they would be mesmerized by the lights.  This year though, we decorated the tree altogether and it was just lovely   Our new tradition for us is that Posey puts the star on the top of the tree with her daddy, as she is the eldest.


A new decoration each. 

Each year (as I am sure many of you all do too) we go to our local garden centre to enjoy all the festive displays and to choose a new decoration each.  We usually go to Bents Garden Centre in Leigh, North West England.  This year, is a little different, as of course we are now living in Abu Dhabi.  So instead we popped down to Ace which is basically like B&Q in the UK.    This year Posey choose a fairy, Lochlann chose a golden robot and  Sam chose a traditional Father Christmas bauble. We also popped into Marks and Spencer's here and bought a couple of lovely decorations and some luxury mince pies!  They had a lovely selection of baubles and tree ornaments.   I chose a gold bauble decorated with a leaf garland design with, 'Merry Christmas 2017' written in red, glittery lettering from M&S.

Twas the night before Christmas.

Again, this is another tradition which I am sure is very popular.  We read this story every Christmas eve at bedtime.  For us, this tradition started when P was still in my tummy.  I will always remember Sam reading to my bump and thinking about the magical Christmases ahead of us.  One of my most favourite memories.

Christmas Eve: Open house. 

We started this tradition last year.  After many a year driving back and to between different family homes we decided that Christmas day would be spent at home, just us.  Therefore we decided that Christmas Eve would be sort of a festive open house.  Any family or friends could drop in for a mince pie and a mulled wine and spend some time with us and children.  That way all the gifts would be exchanged and we didn't need to worry that we hadn't seen anyone on Christmas day.

Mince Pie Night. 

Since we moved into our first house together Sam and I have held a little festive shindig where we invite a small group of friends over for a homemade mulled wine, homemade yule log and mince pies.  With twinkly lights everywhere, Christmas music playing and some tasty treats it is usually one of our most favourite evenings of the year. Sam really enjoys hosting this little evening in our home and I love to see how much he enjoys making the homemade treats for it. We hope to continue the tradition when we move back to the UK.

Although, I am pretty sure I have missed something off those are our Christmas traditions.  I love the run up to Christmas so much I sometimes think I love it more than the actual day itself.  Christmas Eve is easily my most favourite day.  The excitement in the air is almost tangible.

I hope you are enjoying the festive season and if you are still here, thank you for reading this mammoth post! I hope you enjoyed it.  I would love for you to let me know some of your special traditions and the reasons behind them.

Thank you for stopping by & a very Merry Christmas from my family to yours.

Lots of love,

Holly xx