Insta' living.

I have just relished two weeks off.  Time off to recuperate, time off with my lovely little family and time off (lets be honest) to scroll the shit out of Instagram.  I can literally live on this app if I am not careful and constantly find myself thinking, 'oh that'll be a good snap for Instagram.'  We are all guilty of this right and what's the harm? Whilst I don't want to become real negative on my blog I do feel it is necessary for me to write this post...

The last few days I have found myself in a Instagram hole! I have been lost in all the pretty posts, flat lays and photos of beautiful homes and beautiful mamas.  Honestly, it has made me feel like utter crap.  I have felt useless and ugly... it has not been a good place.  It has affected how I have mothered and it has affected the kind of wife I have been to my husband.  Not good. 

I try to have confidence in myself and I really enjoy using Instagram.  I love taking photos and I love writing the little captions underneath each one to document what is going on day to day.  It enables me to write without needing to find the time to blog.  My Instagram feed is my mini blog. But I just don't feel like I compare to all these beautiful mamas that seem to have their shit together.  I don't seem to have tapped into that, 'amazing community' that lots of the lovely ladies I follow talk about.  

I have sat and wondered what is wrong with me, why don't I fit?  Will I ever be good enough?

This post is a reminder to both myself and anyone that might be reading it that Instagram is simply an app... a brilliant app but just an app nevertheless.  My feed doesn't define me and it really shouldn't matter but it does to me.   I need to learn to not let things get to me so much.

Right, rant over.  I am zonked after my first day back teaching after the holidays.  My bed is calling and so is One Born Every Minute... BABY OBSESSED.

Thanks for stopping by,
Lots of love. xx

Big Adventures... Moving Aboard!

I have been wanting to write about this for so long now but had to wait until we had told our family and friends about it,.. after a long time deliberating, discussing and imagining what life would be like we have decided to take the plunge and move aboard to teach.  Come mid August we will be spreading our wings and starting a new family adventure in Abu Dhabi!

This all started well over a year ago but if I am honest it has always been something I have fancied doing but another one of those things that I was never sure if I was confident to do or not.  Being with my husband has really helped with my confidence issues though and so has becoming a mother.  So whilst I am still quite insecure in myself and my abilities I feel more empowered to make decisions that I/we feel are right for our own little family.  So a couple of Christmases ago my friend Hollie popped up on my doorstep on Christmas Eve and took me completely by surprise as she was supposed to be in Qatar not at my door.  She was teaching at an international school and wasn't due home that Christmas.  It was fantastic to see her of course and I loved hearing her tales of travel but being almost 9 months pregnant and fit to burst I really didn't ever think I would be planning to do the same!  However every visit from Hollie that followed sparked ideas in both my head and Sam's.  Perhaps this was something we could do as a family after all?

So why now? Why haven't we already gone?
That's easy.  Family.  I am not blaming them at all but with Sam's mum suffering from Multiple Sclerosis and my mum becoming desperately ill with anorexia (she was hospitalized with it when my son was only 5 days old and has been in and out of hospital ever since but is more stable, thankfully) we just didn't see how we could possibly take their grandchildren such a long way from them.
 I struggled with the guilt of wanting to move for so long and I know Sam was unsure too. I think he knew deep down that his family would be supportive and see the benefits of this adventure for our family but he was patient with me and understood that I just wasn't able to leave my mum the way she was.  My guilt wouldn't let me.  It has been a long, tough road in regards to my mum's mental illness and I would love to write more about it, when I am ready and when I have the right words.  I would hate for anything I shared publicly to hurt or upset her.

So anyway, I digress... when January 2017 rolled around we decided we needed a change.  Something NEEDED to change.  We craved more time with the children and to be frank more money for the amount of hard work and hours we put into our jobs.  We discussed it at length and decided it was now or never really.  The children are growing so fast if we were going to do this we needed to do it this year before they both start primary school.  From there we kept an eye of TES and other sites advertising teaching posts.  We interviewed for two positions last month over Skype and were offered both and the rest, as they say is history!

We have both been offered positions in the same school and as Posey is already three she will start in their pre-school in September which is great as it means her schooling is paid for.  Lochlann will go to a private nursery for the first year and then will join us at our school in the second year when he is three.

We choose Abu Dhabi after ALOT of research, it just seems more family orientated than some of the other places we looked at.  It has lots of things to do and places to explore but also has some home comforts like Ikea! Lol.   We have so much yet to sort out like documentation and what we are going to do with our own house and right now I can honestly say I still cannot believe we are going.  I am nervous but that said I am incredibly excited.  I know it'll bring tough times but I also know it'll bring us closer together as a family and will allow us so much more quality time together.  Not to mention the year round sunshine and fabulous weather!

So now it's all about planning and preparation.  So if anyone has any tips about moving aboard, travelling with young children and acclimatising to a very hot country then please let me know!

I am so proud of where we are already, as if I am actually moving aboard.  - I am usually so plain and boring!  Time to inject a little more colour and excitement into all our lives. And of course it'll give me lots of write about on here too!

Before I go I do just want to say thank you to all our family and friends just in case you are reading this... some of you were supportive from the start and for others it took a bit longer which was totally understandable.  Now, in spite of your trepidation you are all being super lovely and supportive about it.  Thank you so so much.

To Sam's mum and my own ... You are two of the strongest women I know and you inspire me to be the best mother I can be so although I was scared to leave you both... you are also two of the people that gave me the motivation to do this as you have both been so strong for your own children so for so many years and now it is time for me to do the same for mine!

And Hollie, if it wasn't for all your encouragement at each yearly visit this probably wouldn't be happening, so thank you to you too!

Right, I think I'll stop waffling now the littlest has had me up since 5 and this mama needs another cup of tea!

Thanks for stopping by,

Lots of love xx

My Two #3

Confessions of a full time working mother... I haven't kept up with this post nearly as much as I had hoped but I am still going to do it as and when I can.

# 1

Recently Posey has become quite obsessed with all things Disney Princesses! She is literally in love with Beauty and the Beast which I am so pleased about because it has always been my favourite Disney film,  If you read my post about going to the cinema recently then you'll know this already! Posey will request to watch the film two and three times a day,  It is the sweetest thing catching her acting out scenes from the film or singing the lyrics to Tale as old as time or the song about Gaston.  It does however slightly concern me that her favourite character isn't Beast, or Mrs Potts or even Belle.  It's Gaston!  I fear this may be her first bad boy crush! LOL! 

Another thing I really love about Posey at the moment is how passionate she is about so many different things; Beauty and the Beast, acting out, 'hi guys' videos as she call them (where she reenacts kids videos she has watched on YouTube), cooking up a storm in her kitchen, making people cards and playing football with her daddy.  We recently went to Heaton Park in Manchester for a couple of hours in the fresh air.  She requested we take a ball and spent most of the time running in the fields and dribbling the ball, quite well actually.  A girl of many talents, my girl.  I honestly believe this one is destined for pretty great things! You can tell our Little P is poorly in the photo below but that blue ice-cream excited her so much you wouldn't believe and I have got to remember the huge smile on her face when she saw it.  I'll think back to it when I am older and far more grey than I am now.  That ice-cream was the first thing she managed to finish eating all day! It totally soothed her sore tongue and throat! 

 # 2

My little Lolo.  He sure is a mama's boy at the moment and I adore it.  He is so sweet and cuddly which has of course only intensified whilst he has been so poorly.  He has literally been attached to my hip but I am savoring every moment because I have seen him grow up so much recently that I know he isn't my baby boy anymore.  In fact he will shout at you if you even mutter the word, 'baby,'

'I am a big boy mama' he says.  

I am still marvelling at how much his imagination has sparked recently and if I remember rightly that is what I wrote about in my last post about my two.  But it is true, his imagination amazes me at the moment.  His current obsession with firefighters and aeroplanes means we have watched ALOT of the Disney Pixar Planes 2 and his favourite bed time story at the minute is a made up story by his daddy called, 'Fireman Lochlann.'  It is so lovely to hear the sheer excitement in his voice when he asks for daddy to tell him the fireman story at bedtime. 'Please Daddy, one last time!'

CUTE.

He is such a caring little soul too.  Whenever he asks for a drink or somethings else (usually an apple or a biscuit) he will always say, 'and one for Popo too mama!'  Apart from when he is fighting with her over a toy you can see just how devoted he is to his big sister.  He adores her and always wants to look after her, letting me know if she is sad or if she needs something.  I really hope this is a sign of just how thoughtful he will be when he is older.  I think it is, despite his little temper he is a gentle, kind soul.  I am so proud of my curly haired boy. 

So there we are, another short post about my two favourite littles and what I am loving about them at the moment.  I cannot wait for P & L to look back on these in the future. 

Posey and Lochlann if you are reading these I hope you enjoy hearing about all your little interests and obsessions and that you don't find your mother's ramblings too cringy.  You two light up my world and give me purpose.  I love you both to the moon and back again (and as Posey currently says) and I'll still love you in the morning when the sun comes up! 

Thanks for stopping by, 

Lots of love. xx

Sunny Sundays.

Today the fog lifted and by fog I mean Scarlet Fever.  Wow what an intense few days it has been in the Brookes household.  Lochlann has been poorly for over a week and slowly but surely we all started to succumb to illness too.  It has been quite a sorry state of affairs.

It all started last Friday when it seemed Lochlann had unfortunately picked up yet another sick bug but when it hadn't left him by the weekend we started to suspect Scarlet Fever as his nursery had emailed confirming cases of it over the past week.
I wasn't sure what to expect but soaring temperatures of 39.5, two very poorly children and in the end two rather sick parents was definitely not what I had anticipated. I fear the children in my class have probably forgotten what I look like as I only managed to work one day this week between Lochlann being ill, then me.
On Friday I was all ready to haul myself into work despite feeling terrible, it was assessment week and I had lots of loose ends to tie up before the end of term.  I was up dressed and ready to leave the house.  My aunt had come over early in the morning to take care of the children and Lochlann was slowly but surely on the mend.  I went to Posey's room to give her a cuddle and a kiss goodbye but was greeted with a very sad, swollen, red and puffy face.  Scarlet fever is a bitch!  I called work and explained and then rushed Posey off to the doctors to make sure she started a course of antibiotics straight away.  This illness has knocked us all off our feet and was not the start to the Easter holidays that I had hoped for!

In spite of all this doom and gloom this morning, I woke up to a beautiful blue sky and a daughter happily whispering,'good morning mama' in my ear.  We all sat and managed to cheerfully eat breakfast after our first dose of antibiotics of the day and Lochlann actually asked for seconds (which to be fair is normal Lochlann behaviour but the boy has barely eaten anything in over a week).
We still spent all morning at home pottering, cleaning and playing before sending the littles off to bed for a long, entirely necessary nap.  Whilst they napped, Sam insisted that I sit down, drink tea, eat toast and rest.  He's a damn good husband when he wants to be! Together we enjoyed the quiet drank our tea whilst it was hot and caught up on some reading (well I did Sam sat and grunted at his playstation whilst driving erratically and shooting people).

When the children woke up it was clear the long nap had done them the world of good and we decided to go out on a walk to feed the ducks.  It was another glorious day and I didn't want it to be wasted sat in the house willing the illness to go away.  Posey and Lochlann love to go for walks and its one of those rare times where they don't bicker... which of course I relish.

So off we went, hand in hand on our traditional walk down by the ship canal to find some ducks to feed.  It was the best idea we have had all weekend.  Lochlann loved searching the skies for areoplanes whilst Posey raced her Daddy and searched for the perfect stick to do her, 'work.'
We ambled along the path in the warm sunshine and chatted about future plans and our impending mini break to Ireland with Sam's family.  The littles loved it and so did we.

A memory I so don't want to forget is Lochlann shouting at the ducks to eat their food and eat it NOW! ... It was hilarious, bless him.

Now we are home and I have a Sunday lunch food baby in my belly, our littles are sound asleep and Sam is chilling on the sofa next to me.  I hope today signals the end of Scarlet fever in the Brookes house...

For any other mamas or dads out there reading this Scarlet Fever is highly contagious and seems to be spreading round the country like wild fire at the moment.  Lochlann's illness was actually asymptomatic according to the doctor because it took so long for his rashes and high temperatures to appear so be vigilant and do not be afraid to take your littles to the doctor.  It is what they are there for and it is peace of mind for you.
Signs to look out for are;

• redness in the face/ cheeks - can look like sunburn 
• a temperature
• a rash spreading all over the body but in particular around the ears, under the arms and across the torso 
• sickness/ vomiting
• a red and white or spotty tongue. 

I am not a qualified medical professional so if you are concerned make sure you seek medical attention. 

Here's to happier and healthier days for us all to enjoy for the rest of our Easter holidays. 

Thanks for stopping by,

Lots of love.xx

Child free date night.

A couple of weekends ago the littles stayed with Sam's parents overnight and we got some alone time for the first time since his birthday in November.  It was a simple evening just dinner and time together but needless to say it was much needed.

Us mothers and fathers love our children dearly and wouldn't alter the effects that these little beings have had on our lives but every now and then time to be just us, the boy and girl that met and fell in love just a few short years ago is entirely necessary.  You need time to be a couple to chat about things other than who's turn it is to get up with the children first or who's fault it was that we forgot to buy more milk.  You need time to see through the realities of full time working/ parenting/ married life and find the person that gave you those butterflies in your stomach at a busy bar in Didsbury on a chilly December evening. 

So after the dump and dash of our precious children in Stafford we hit the road and headed back home all the while deliberating on where to go and what to do.  A child free night, the possibilities are endless I hear you say.  Well yes I suppose they could have been but we are creatures of habit and decided that a Pizza Express in our local village and a couple of cocktails before heading home for a delicious night of uninterrupted... SLEEP would suit us perfectly - any parents dream right there! 

I so enjoyed having a little extra time to take over my makeup, even adding a red lip which rarely happens these days.  I felt nice in my £13 Primark number with heels and it was just so lovely to dress up for my husband who usually sees me sporting either work clothes, a big jumper or Harry Potter PJs! 

Over a candlelit dinner we chatted, smiled and devoured lots of yummy food.  A simple date but a bloody brilliant one.  It sounds silly but I had really missed my husband.  Life is just so busy at the moment and although we live in the same house sometimes we barely even have a minute to ask how eachother's days have been.  A marriage needs to be nurtured and I need to remember that.  I am his wife as well as their mother and I damn proud of both those job titles. 

I love my favourite three and I wouldn't be without them. 

Sam, you are often a pain in the arse but I bloody love you and our little date reminded me of just how brilliant you actually are. 💓

Sam I love you always, thank you for waiting for me, I only hope I was worth it.  

P & L if you are reading this I know you'll be cringing at your mother gushing over your father but sometimes he does deserve it...honest! 

Thanks for stopping by, 

Lots of love. xx

A child free trip to the cinema.

It has been a long while since I have had chance to write, almost a month in fact but here I am again and this time I really wanted to write about my trip to the cinema to finally see Beauty and the Beast!

I have been so so SO unbelievably excited to see this film ever since news hit the headlines about the remake and when I heard that Emma Watson was playing Belle, I nearly peed my pants with excitement.  She is my ultimate woman, I mean she played Hermoine Grainger, after all!
Beauty and the Beast is my absolute favourite Disney film and has been since I was a little girl.  The scene were the Beast shows Belle the library... wow.  If only things that like happened in real life, that is my idea of romance!

So, after a long day at work I didn't go home to mama duties as usual.  Instead my two friends and I headed to the the Vue Cinema in Altrincham.  I was so excited, being mama usually means lots of mundane routine.  Get up, get me ready, get the children ready, rush to work, finish work, rush home and get the children into bed.  All of which I love but knowing I was going to cinema for 2 hours of me time with popcorn and my favourite Disney princess on a Thursday evening was such a delight.

We navigated through the traffic and headed into the cinema.  I felt silly about how giddy I was.  The smell of sweet popcorn was too good to pass up so I ordered a large popcorn and diet coke combo and we headed into screen 2.

The film did not disappoint, I blooming loved it! I laughed, I cried (alot) and I had two hours to myself to just be me.  Not to worry about whether I had snapped at the littles or whether I would have time to mark my school books before my eyes got to weary.  It was pure bliss and I want, no need to see the film again, like now!

In all seriousness though, I sat there in the cinema with two lovely friends and realised how important 'me time' really is.  It doesn't have to be a special trip out every time but to be the mum I want to be I must remember to take some time out to chill I remember who I am,  I was Holly first before I was mummy and I mustn't forget that. It is so easy for mothers or those with hectic jobs and commitments to forgo 'me time' but in this hectic frenzy that we call life we really need to take the time to slow down and rejuvenate every now and again. I for one am going to take a leaf out of Belle's book this half term and make sure I spend at least 10 minutes a day with just myself and a good book because do you know what, I deserve it and so do you!


What is your favourite way to spend your, 'me time?' Leave a comment and let me know. 😊

Thanks for stopping by.
Lots of love. xx