A letter to my first born.

Dear Posey,

Tomorrow you turn 4.  Four years old.  I knew it's a typical mother thing to say and so cliche but I can't believe how quickly those four years have whizzed by.  At the same time though I struggle to imagine what life was like before you were here.  Before you I was just a teacher, I felt like something was missing, like I needed purpose.  Then you came along.  You made me a mama and I cannot believe your baby and toddlers years are over.  Our lives have altered in so many ways since you came along. 

You have filled our days with so much happiness since you entered our world and have always been bright as a button.  Everyone who meets you comments on how bright and outgoing you are.  You are doing brilliantly at school, you take it all in your stride (you're even a little cheeky at times) despite all the up-heaval of moving half way across the world.  I was worried when we moved out here, as I know you love your family so fiercely.  I was scared you would hate us for taking you away from them.  Yet somehow although you miss them so much I can see you almost understand why we have brought you here.  You tell me about how we get to swim a lot and go out for dinner together, which you love.  You and your brother always ask for us to eat as a family - which is just the loveliest thing.  I hope you want this for many years to come. 

My how you've grown, you are little miss independent.  You have your own little group of friends at school and you just love to boss your little brother around.  You are actually very protective when it comes to your brother (only you are allowed to wind him up it seems).  It is the little moments between you two that I love, the way you look out for him or show him how to do something... it just melts my heart.  I worried for you when we fell pregnant with your brother.  After all we had only had you in our arms for a such a short while.  I need not of worried, though you were still so little when Lochlann arrived it was as if you were always meant to be a big sister.

You sleep really well and have finally decided that now you would like to have a glass of milk before bed instead of your beloved bottle.  I often wondered how we would ever get you to give up your bottle.  I should have trusted that you would do it when you were ready, just like everything else you do.  I need to remember not to rush you sometimes.  I often worry that because you are my eldest, I am harder on you, when in actual fact you are still only small.  I hope that when you grow up you'll know that your daddy and I only ever want the best for you. 

Speaking of your daddy, you and him have such a bond.  I love to sit and watch you play.  You are for the most part a daddy's girl but recently you and I have developed a little friendship that I will treasure.  You are like my mini best friend. The other day, you and I went on a little coffee date (you had a babychino) we sat together, chatted and shared a chocolate cake.  Then we played in the rain and you enjoyed splashing in the puddles.  It was such a lovely afternoon.  It meant the world to me. I hope that over the years we will spend many more of these little dates together, just like I did with your Nanna when I was growing up.

So there you go, I guess I should stop waffling now.  The only thing left to say is how incredibly proud your Daddy and I are of you.  You have such a lovely character and although we are sad that you are growing older we are also so excited to see the person you become. You are going to be one amazing young lady, in that I have no doubt.

Love you very much, our first born, our big love.

Happy fourth Birthday Posey Margaret Ivy.

Mummy xx