Insta' living.

I have just relished two weeks off.  Time off to recuperate, time off with my lovely little family and time off (lets be honest) to scroll the shit out of Instagram.  I can literally live on this app if I am not careful and constantly find myself thinking, 'oh that'll be a good snap for Instagram.'  We are all guilty of this right and what's the harm? Whilst I don't want to become real negative on my blog I do feel it is necessary for me to write this post...

The last few days I have found myself in a Instagram hole! I have been lost in all the pretty posts, flat lays and photos of beautiful homes and beautiful mamas.  Honestly, it has made me feel like utter crap.  I have felt useless and ugly... it has not been a good place.  It has affected how I have mothered and it has affected the kind of wife I have been to my husband.  Not good. 

I try to have confidence in myself and I really enjoy using Instagram.  I love taking photos and I love writing the little captions underneath each one to document what is going on day to day.  It enables me to write without needing to find the time to blog.  My Instagram feed is my mini blog. But I just don't feel like I compare to all these beautiful mamas that seem to have their shit together.  I don't seem to have tapped into that, 'amazing community' that lots of the lovely ladies I follow talk about.  

I have sat and wondered what is wrong with me, why don't I fit?  Will I ever be good enough?

This post is a reminder to both myself and anyone that might be reading it that Instagram is simply an app... a brilliant app but just an app nevertheless.  My feed doesn't define me and it really shouldn't matter but it does to me.   I need to learn to not let things get to me so much.

Right, rant over.  I am zonked after my first day back teaching after the holidays.  My bed is calling and so is One Born Every Minute... BABY OBSESSED.

Thanks for stopping by,
Lots of love. xx

Big Adventures... Moving Aboard!

I have been wanting to write about this for so long now but had to wait until we had told our family and friends about it,.. after a long time deliberating, discussing and imagining what life would be like we have decided to take the plunge and move aboard to teach.  Come mid August we will be spreading our wings and starting a new family adventure in Abu Dhabi!

This all started well over a year ago but if I am honest it has always been something I have fancied doing but another one of those things that I was never sure if I was confident to do or not.  Being with my husband has really helped with my confidence issues though and so has becoming a mother.  So whilst I am still quite insecure in myself and my abilities I feel more empowered to make decisions that I/we feel are right for our own little family.  So a couple of Christmases ago my friend Hollie popped up on my doorstep on Christmas Eve and took me completely by surprise as she was supposed to be in Qatar not at my door.  She was teaching at an international school and wasn't due home that Christmas.  It was fantastic to see her of course and I loved hearing her tales of travel but being almost 9 months pregnant and fit to burst I really didn't ever think I would be planning to do the same!  However every visit from Hollie that followed sparked ideas in both my head and Sam's.  Perhaps this was something we could do as a family after all?

So why now? Why haven't we already gone?
That's easy.  Family.  I am not blaming them at all but with Sam's mum suffering from Multiple Sclerosis and my mum becoming desperately ill with anorexia (she was hospitalized with it when my son was only 5 days old and has been in and out of hospital ever since but is more stable, thankfully) we just didn't see how we could possibly take their grandchildren such a long way from them.
 I struggled with the guilt of wanting to move for so long and I know Sam was unsure too. I think he knew deep down that his family would be supportive and see the benefits of this adventure for our family but he was patient with me and understood that I just wasn't able to leave my mum the way she was.  My guilt wouldn't let me.  It has been a long, tough road in regards to my mum's mental illness and I would love to write more about it, when I am ready and when I have the right words.  I would hate for anything I shared publicly to hurt or upset her.

So anyway, I digress... when January 2017 rolled around we decided we needed a change.  Something NEEDED to change.  We craved more time with the children and to be frank more money for the amount of hard work and hours we put into our jobs.  We discussed it at length and decided it was now or never really.  The children are growing so fast if we were going to do this we needed to do it this year before they both start primary school.  From there we kept an eye of TES and other sites advertising teaching posts.  We interviewed for two positions last month over Skype and were offered both and the rest, as they say is history!

We have both been offered positions in the same school and as Posey is already three she will start in their pre-school in September which is great as it means her schooling is paid for.  Lochlann will go to a private nursery for the first year and then will join us at our school in the second year when he is three.

We choose Abu Dhabi after ALOT of research, it just seems more family orientated than some of the other places we looked at.  It has lots of things to do and places to explore but also has some home comforts like Ikea! Lol.   We have so much yet to sort out like documentation and what we are going to do with our own house and right now I can honestly say I still cannot believe we are going.  I am nervous but that said I am incredibly excited.  I know it'll bring tough times but I also know it'll bring us closer together as a family and will allow us so much more quality time together.  Not to mention the year round sunshine and fabulous weather!

So now it's all about planning and preparation.  So if anyone has any tips about moving aboard, travelling with young children and acclimatising to a very hot country then please let me know!

I am so proud of where we are already, as if I am actually moving aboard.  - I am usually so plain and boring!  Time to inject a little more colour and excitement into all our lives. And of course it'll give me lots of write about on here too!

Before I go I do just want to say thank you to all our family and friends just in case you are reading this... some of you were supportive from the start and for others it took a bit longer which was totally understandable.  Now, in spite of your trepidation you are all being super lovely and supportive about it.  Thank you so so much.

To Sam's mum and my own ... You are two of the strongest women I know and you inspire me to be the best mother I can be so although I was scared to leave you both... you are also two of the people that gave me the motivation to do this as you have both been so strong for your own children so for so many years and now it is time for me to do the same for mine!

And Hollie, if it wasn't for all your encouragement at each yearly visit this probably wouldn't be happening, so thank you to you too!

Right, I think I'll stop waffling now the littlest has had me up since 5 and this mama needs another cup of tea!

Thanks for stopping by,

Lots of love xx

My Two #3

Confessions of a full time working mother... I haven't kept up with this post nearly as much as I had hoped but I am still going to do it as and when I can.

# 1

Recently Posey has become quite obsessed with all things Disney Princesses! She is literally in love with Beauty and the Beast which I am so pleased about because it has always been my favourite Disney film,  If you read my post about going to the cinema recently then you'll know this already! Posey will request to watch the film two and three times a day,  It is the sweetest thing catching her acting out scenes from the film or singing the lyrics to Tale as old as time or the song about Gaston.  It does however slightly concern me that her favourite character isn't Beast, or Mrs Potts or even Belle.  It's Gaston!  I fear this may be her first bad boy crush! LOL! 

Another thing I really love about Posey at the moment is how passionate she is about so many different things; Beauty and the Beast, acting out, 'hi guys' videos as she call them (where she reenacts kids videos she has watched on YouTube), cooking up a storm in her kitchen, making people cards and playing football with her daddy.  We recently went to Heaton Park in Manchester for a couple of hours in the fresh air.  She requested we take a ball and spent most of the time running in the fields and dribbling the ball, quite well actually.  A girl of many talents, my girl.  I honestly believe this one is destined for pretty great things! You can tell our Little P is poorly in the photo below but that blue ice-cream excited her so much you wouldn't believe and I have got to remember the huge smile on her face when she saw it.  I'll think back to it when I am older and far more grey than I am now.  That ice-cream was the first thing she managed to finish eating all day! It totally soothed her sore tongue and throat! 

 # 2

My little Lolo.  He sure is a mama's boy at the moment and I adore it.  He is so sweet and cuddly which has of course only intensified whilst he has been so poorly.  He has literally been attached to my hip but I am savoring every moment because I have seen him grow up so much recently that I know he isn't my baby boy anymore.  In fact he will shout at you if you even mutter the word, 'baby,'

'I am a big boy mama' he says.  

I am still marvelling at how much his imagination has sparked recently and if I remember rightly that is what I wrote about in my last post about my two.  But it is true, his imagination amazes me at the moment.  His current obsession with firefighters and aeroplanes means we have watched ALOT of the Disney Pixar Planes 2 and his favourite bed time story at the minute is a made up story by his daddy called, 'Fireman Lochlann.'  It is so lovely to hear the sheer excitement in his voice when he asks for daddy to tell him the fireman story at bedtime. 'Please Daddy, one last time!'

CUTE.

He is such a caring little soul too.  Whenever he asks for a drink or somethings else (usually an apple or a biscuit) he will always say, 'and one for Popo too mama!'  Apart from when he is fighting with her over a toy you can see just how devoted he is to his big sister.  He adores her and always wants to look after her, letting me know if she is sad or if she needs something.  I really hope this is a sign of just how thoughtful he will be when he is older.  I think it is, despite his little temper he is a gentle, kind soul.  I am so proud of my curly haired boy. 

So there we are, another short post about my two favourite littles and what I am loving about them at the moment.  I cannot wait for P & L to look back on these in the future. 

Posey and Lochlann if you are reading these I hope you enjoy hearing about all your little interests and obsessions and that you don't find your mother's ramblings too cringy.  You two light up my world and give me purpose.  I love you both to the moon and back again (and as Posey currently says) and I'll still love you in the morning when the sun comes up! 

Thanks for stopping by, 

Lots of love. xx