A letter to my first born.

Dear Posey,

Tomorrow you turn 4.  Four years old.  I knew it's a typical mother thing to say and so cliche but I can't believe how quickly those four years have whizzed by.  At the same time though I struggle to imagine what life was like before you were here.  Before you I was just a teacher, I felt like something was missing, like I needed purpose.  Then you came along.  You made me a mama and I cannot believe your baby and toddlers years are over.  Our lives have altered in so many ways since you came along. 

You have filled our days with so much happiness since you entered our world and have always been bright as a button.  Everyone who meets you comments on how bright and outgoing you are.  You are doing brilliantly at school, you take it all in your stride (you're even a little cheeky at times) despite all the up-heaval of moving half way across the world.  I was worried when we moved out here, as I know you love your family so fiercely.  I was scared you would hate us for taking you away from them.  Yet somehow although you miss them so much I can see you almost understand why we have brought you here.  You tell me about how we get to swim a lot and go out for dinner together, which you love.  You and your brother always ask for us to eat as a family - which is just the loveliest thing.  I hope you want this for many years to come. 

My how you've grown, you are little miss independent.  You have your own little group of friends at school and you just love to boss your little brother around.  You are actually very protective when it comes to your brother (only you are allowed to wind him up it seems).  It is the little moments between you two that I love, the way you look out for him or show him how to do something... it just melts my heart.  I worried for you when we fell pregnant with your brother.  After all we had only had you in our arms for a such a short while.  I need not of worried, though you were still so little when Lochlann arrived it was as if you were always meant to be a big sister.

You sleep really well and have finally decided that now you would like to have a glass of milk before bed instead of your beloved bottle.  I often wondered how we would ever get you to give up your bottle.  I should have trusted that you would do it when you were ready, just like everything else you do.  I need to remember not to rush you sometimes.  I often worry that because you are my eldest, I am harder on you, when in actual fact you are still only small.  I hope that when you grow up you'll know that your daddy and I only ever want the best for you. 

Speaking of your daddy, you and him have such a bond.  I love to sit and watch you play.  You are for the most part a daddy's girl but recently you and I have developed a little friendship that I will treasure.  You are like my mini best friend. The other day, you and I went on a little coffee date (you had a babychino) we sat together, chatted and shared a chocolate cake.  Then we played in the rain and you enjoyed splashing in the puddles.  It was such a lovely afternoon.  It meant the world to me. I hope that over the years we will spend many more of these little dates together, just like I did with your Nanna when I was growing up.

So there you go, I guess I should stop waffling now.  The only thing left to say is how incredibly proud your Daddy and I are of you.  You have such a lovely character and although we are sad that you are growing older we are also so excited to see the person you become. You are going to be one amazing young lady, in that I have no doubt.

Love you very much, our first born, our big love.

Happy fourth Birthday Posey Margaret Ivy.

Mummy xx

Lets kickstart 2018!

I am not actually sure I can get my little pea-sized head around the fact that 2017 is ALREADY drawing to a close and yet here we are!  I must be getting old as the years are most definitely going faster.

I have blooming loved Christmas this year.  In the interest of being honest, there have been a fair few tears along the way.  I wasn't sure we could enjoy Christmas without our family nearby.  But it turns out although it was different, it was magical.  The littles have hit a great age for all the excitement.  Seeing their faces light up on Christmas morning made me melt.  My heart swelled and I know Sam felt the same.  Everything Posey opened was her, 'most favourite thing ever' and Lochann grinned from ear to ear when he finally unwrapped his Playmobil fire engine.

We are now smack bang in the middle of the 'Christmas slump.'  You know that in-between bit after Christmas Day but before New Year.  Where you struggle to get out your PJ's and you fall in one of two categories, either you are chucking your decorations into storage on the 27th or your clinging on to the festive spirt for dear life.  I am without a doubt in second team but I am looking forwards, thinking about how I can kickstart 2018.

Having said that, this isn't some lengthy post about my dreams and goals for the year.  It is more just a few things I plan to do to kickstart the year and make life a little easier.

1. Get more sleep. - this is an obvious one I know but since we moved out to the UAE my body clock seems to have been pretty messed up.  We have to get up for work earlier here as we start at 7:30am.  Yet still we are up (often doing work) until late. Often past 11pm and that my friends is just not enough rest.  I plan to be in bed from 9pm in January. 
2. Put my phone down more often - another simple one but how many of us are guilty of spending too much time on Twitter or Instagram?  I love Instagram, it is almost like a mini blog for me but I know it sometimes stops me from being in the moment with my family. The littles are growing so fast and I am sure soon enough I won't be that interesting to them anymore.  I need to soak them up as much as possible. 
3. Make achievable lists- As a mama and a teacher I will ALWAYS have a huge amount of things to do on any given day.  This fact often feels a little suffocating.  A fellow mama and blogger Rebecca Meldrum suggests writing small lists each day to help us focus on what you want to achieve.  I intend on taking this advice.  Small and manageable is the way to go. 
4. Get outside- Spend at least 5 minutes getting some headspace in the great outdoors everyday if you can.  As I live in the desert now I intend to do this as much as I can before the temperatures sky rocket again.  When I lived in England any green space, a field, a wood or even the back garden will immediately make me feel calmer and more in charge of my emotions. 
5. Make the bed in the morning- Whenever I make the bed in the morning I immediately feel like I am organised and basically the boss of my day! ... Honestly it makes a huge difference. 

Spending time with these two and their dad outside is one of my favourite things to do. 

That is it for now.  These are the few things that I am going to do in the new year to beat those pesky January blues and make sure our 2018 starts off positively. 

What will you do?  I'd love you to leave a comment below and let me know! 

Thanks for stopping by. 

Lots of love, 

Holly xx

The ramblings of an expat... at Christmas.

I have an idea... It may be a rubbish idea but I thought I would begin a series of posts with my thoughts and views on life away from home.  The expat life as it's lovingly referred to.  I hope that this series will give a good insight into life for a family that lives abroad.  I intend for each post to be fairly short and sweet so that I can keep up with them.  I love writing and find it especially therapeutic when there is something on my mind.  So here goes...

Generally, life is pretty good considering we have only lived out here for 4 months.  The weather has cooled recently which means it is acceptable to pull out my trusty jeans and converse yet we are still able to go swimming every single day if we so wish! I mean how cool is that for a family used to windy and wet winters in England?! We set this move as a goal for us to achieve last New Year! Sometimes I still can't actually believe we did it.

Although I am so proud of us for moving out here every now and again homesickness bitch slaps me hard. Yesterday proved to be difficult, (I do think it was partly down to yet another bad cold).  The run up to Christmas has still been lovely because I am with my three favourite people.  Posey and Lochlann are really beginning to understand what Christmas is all about and their excitement is infectious. But yesterday I just wanted to go home.  I wanted to watch the littles playing with members of their family.  I wanted to be dashing around the supermarkets hunting for the last bag of brussel sprouts.   I missed wishing every person you meet in the shops a merry Christmas.  It is easy to read my blog posts or look at my Instagram captions and assume that life is sweet twenty- four seven  but truth be told I shed more than a tear yesterday.

Today I have woke up feeling far better (I think my bad cold had a lot to answer for yesterday).  I still miss home don't get me wrong but I woke up to two little people jumping with excitement as tomorrow is Christmas eve.  Whilst I sit and type this, they are devouring the snowman cakes we baked together and we are getting ready to visit a Christmas market.

Will Christmas be the same? No of course it won't but Sam and I are determined to make it one to remember!

If you are with your family this year, enjoy it, savour the moments (even the little rows) and make sure to tell them you love them.  And with that, Merry Christmas to our family, we love and miss you all.  Here's to summer 2018 when we are all reunited and we can ditch the kids with you! 😉

Thanks for stopping by & a Merry Christmas.
Lots of love,

Holly.x