Sunday, 5 March 2017

Careers, Motherhood & Self-belief.

Wow... what a busy week.  I can't describe it as long and yet Monday seems like such a long time ago.  This return to work after half term started with a bang as it was World Book Day where I teach.  I got to go to work in my brand new pjs (the nursery run was interesting, lots of strange looks) and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed strolling round my classroom in my pom pom slippers.  Despite the lounge-wear though, the return to work was at full speed and I barely had a moment to take a breath or ask a colleague how their holidays had been.  I always find that myself missing the littles even  more than usual on the first day back at work too.  Whether that is just a Monday after the weekend or after a half term holiday.  But I know, deep down, nursery is good for them and work is good for me.  As much as I absolutely adored maternity leave and my time at home with P & L, it was at times a lonely life,,, but that's a topic for another post.

The rest of this week was just crazy busy.  Filled with nursery picks ups and drop offs, traffic jams and lesson observations.  By the time Friday arrived I was done.  I was achy, tired and longing for the weekend.  Despite the tiredness though, this week for me really opened my eyes in terms of my, 'teacher life.'

I have never been a particularly confident person,  That is not a, 'oh poor me, give me some sympathy' statement, it is just a fact. No matter how times a loved one or a friend has told me I am a good, capable teacher, I have never quite believed it myself.  Self-doubt is a bitch but a couple of things have happened this week which have meant that actually, just maybe my self-confidence is improving.  I am proud of my class and how hard I work for them to progress and I feel like this year I have really begun to establish myself as a solid teacher (after two maternity leaves that happened one after the other).  I have taken a long time but I finally starting to believe in myself a little more.  FINALLY.  This is thanks to some wonderful colleagues, friends and my husband but also thanks to me having a good old word with myself.  I am not a young NQT (newly-qualified teacher) or a newbie mum anymore.  I am a teacher in her sixth year with a lot of experience under her belt.  A teacher that younger teachers look to for advice and support and it is about time I started to act like it! So that is my plan.

Now this doesn't mean I won't have times where I am unsure of myself or nervous about the next staff meeting I need to deliver or lesson I am being observed in but what it does mean is that I am really going to try hard to give myself a break sometimes.  I am going to try and remember to step back and take stock of everything I have achieved as a teacher and a mother rather than chastising myself or all the things I haven't yet achieved or all those things I could have done better.

Ok so reading back through what I have written this post has taken a different route to that I had planned but that is ok.  I am going to leave it as it is.  Then hopefully when I am feeling less confident I can look back at this and remember this week and how I felt about where I am in my career and as a mother. Perhaps this will help someone else that reads it and helps them to realise that they should have more self-worth and confidence in themselves too, whether that be in their job role or as a mother.

Ok enough waffling, if you read this I hope you enjoyed it. P & L if you are reading this sometime in the future then please have confidence in yourselves you are a joy to be around and provide everyone around you with such happiness that you should be proud of yourselves no matter what!

Thanks for stopping by.
Lots of love xx

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