The rest of this week was just crazy busy. Filled with nursery picks ups and drop offs, traffic jams and lesson observations. By the time Friday arrived I was done. I was achy, tired and longing for the weekend. Despite the tiredness though, this week for me really opened my eyes in terms of my, 'teacher life.'
I have never been a particularly confident person, That is not a, 'oh poor me, give me some sympathy' statement, it is just a fact. No matter how times a loved one or a friend has told me I am a good, capable teacher, I have never quite believed it myself. Self-doubt is a bitch but a couple of things have happened this week which have meant that actually, just maybe my self-confidence is improving. I am proud of my class and how hard I work for them to progress and I feel like this year I have really begun to establish myself as a solid teacher (after two maternity leaves that happened one after the other). I have taken a long time but I finally starting to believe in myself a little more. FINALLY. This is thanks to some wonderful colleagues, friends and my husband but also thanks to me having a good old word with myself. I am not a young NQT (newly-qualified teacher) or a newbie mum anymore. I am a teacher in her sixth year with a lot of experience under her belt. A teacher that younger teachers look to for advice and support and it is about time I started to act like it! So that is my plan.
Now this doesn't mean I won't have times where I am unsure of myself or nervous about the next staff meeting I need to deliver or lesson I am being observed in but what it does mean is that I am really going to try hard to give myself a break sometimes. I am going to try and remember to step back and take stock of everything I have achieved as a teacher and a mother rather than chastising myself or all the things I haven't yet achieved or all those things I could have done better.
Ok so reading back through what I have written this post has taken a different route to that I had planned but that is ok. I am going to leave it as it is. Then hopefully when I am feeling less confident I can look back at this and remember this week and how I felt about where I am in my career and as a mother. Perhaps this will help someone else that reads it and helps them to realise that they should have more self-worth and confidence in themselves too, whether that be in their job role or as a mother.
Ok enough waffling, if you read this I hope you enjoyed it. P & L if you are reading this sometime in the future then please have confidence in yourselves you are a joy to be around and provide everyone around you with such happiness that you should be proud of yourselves no matter what!
Thanks for stopping by.
Lots of love xx